Two jokes for the day..
First Jokes of the day..
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God
she asked, 'Is my time up?'
God replied, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and
change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more
time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her
last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was run over and killed by
an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another
43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?'
(You shall love this one!!)
God replied, 'I didn't recognize you.'
Moral ...Stay the way you are ??
Second Joke for the day..
I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I
noticed an old lady following me around. Thinking nothing of it, I
ignored her and continued on. Finally I went to the checkout line, but
she got in front of me.
'Pardon me,' she said, 'I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel
uncomfortable. It's just that you look like my son, who just died
recently.'
'I'm very sorry,' I said to her, 'Is there anything I can do for you?'
'Yes,' she said, 'As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mom?' It would
make me feel so much better.'
'Sure,' I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it.
As the old woman was leaving, I called out, 'Good Bye, Mom!'
As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was
$1027.50.
'How can that be?' I asked, 'I only purchased a few things!'
'Your mother said that you would pay for her,' said the clerk.
You're all I ever wanted ;
> 
